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Post by dustashesdog on Mar 25, 2005 13:06:57 GMT -5
Everything youve said is true.
I used to be a stripper. When he learned that he almost ended our relationship. Ive been in riske swinging relatetionships, ect.
My bf. says the girl in that movie "Leaving Los Vegas" deserved to get beat and raped because wemon who sell sex are trash.
I think hes just a little piece of nuts for judging me on my past, yet patronising behind closed doors.(granted, going all out and being a hooker is a line I would never cross, but it is the same industry)
I LIKE to feel sexy. I like to take sexy pictures, and I LIKE men! If he wants to satisfy his carnal urges, he should be real,
and fair.
Because Ive got my own inherant "programming" that is denied.
Nothing would make me happier than to start a paysite of myself, and make money and show people myself.
Or even suicide girls.com. I say its not degrading because these girls celebrarte individuality. With blogs, artwork, and REAL pics of REAL women. All kinds of women. And they make$$$
Bf. says thats wrong.
Bf says thats degrading.
Bf says "Why would you want people to know who you are inside?"
(I guess its mutch less degrading if your stripped of all real-ness and your just a watered down cookie-cutter of a male fantasy...yeah right)
Bf says he doesnt want guys thinking about me like that.
I say, If theres something wrong wih "guys thinking about me like that"
than theres something wrong with the way your thinking about them.
Maybe all this says about me is Im not getting what I need.
Or what I think I need.
Again, thanks to all.
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Post by fawnmarie on Mar 25, 2005 16:31:45 GMT -5
Naw - sounds like you're not getting what you need.
At this point you need to ask yourself - and maybe him, too - if he can ever provide that.
Some men can't have down and dirty with the mother of their children. It's a conflict they can't overcome.
Give him an opportunity to fix it though.
Fawn
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Post by confused on Jun 12, 2005 1:24:21 GMT -5
Hello Ladies, I was just trying to learn more about your Wonderful and Friendly sight BE. Then, I found this entry. If I can make a comment, I am a male yet, but I have never watched Porn nor have I ever had the urge to. Even in the service and Viet Nam, the guys would try to get me to watch this stuff and have relations with the Vietnamese women and I just couldn't do it nor did I have the urge to. Firstly, I believe a person wishing to have a person for a mate that has not had relations with someone else , should be able to bring to the relationship the same. If you watch porn, then I believe, that makes it very difficult for a person to overcome that urge. Well , I guess , I have said enough about that, and I know it is an old Gripe, but hope you don't mind my opinion. Love to all,  jre |
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Post by dustashesdog on Jun 21, 2005 17:48:05 GMT -5
..., I am a male yet, but I have never watched Porn nor have I ever had the urge to. Even in the service and Viet Nam, the guys would try to get me to watch this stuff and have relations with the Vietnamese women and I just couldn't do it nor did I have the urge to. ... Must be your typically feminine need for real intamacy showing through. Bravo, sir.  |
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atag
Junior Member
Posts: 90
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Post by atag on Jun 23, 2005 3:03:04 GMT -5
Hi dusashes..man do i know whats goin on in ur head.I've gone to the extent of thinkin of fixin a hidden camera coz i wanna know what the hell it is that he does whatchin that s**t.Even my boyfrien of 5 yrs still lies to me about it.Or sometimes he goes on the offesive n says so what n a shudn't interfere in something so prsonal to him.I hate the nerve of that man!  I've tried to understand that its jus a guy thing like playing ball or smtng but what gets me insecure is what if he's thinking of those girls when he's doin it with me..?  Its a sick feelin.Coz as it is he's the quite king who doesn't show much expression while in the act.So i keep thinkin its coz his mind is somewhere else picturin someone else.!  We've had a lot of fights over this n he says its no big deal to him its more of a habit.Then when it disturbs me so much why can't he stop watchin it?He says he will but again the lying starts n i know he's upto it behind my back. God i can't believe i actually found ppl i can discuss this with!This is a blessing!All of u out there who share the same worries n there to comfort each other.Thanks!!!! |
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Post by lilsx1 on Jun 23, 2005 20:15:07 GMT -5
I think the reason that men don't want to watch it with their women is because they know how their women feel about it and react to it. They don't want to be criticized or scolded or fighting about it later - to them it's not a big deal. I think it's sad when a man has to lie to his wife and can't somehow compromise and reassure her in order for her to get over it... they just prefer to watch it and not deal with the wife's wrath. I guess I got lucky though - my man prefers to watch our own homemade porn and when we watch it together he spends more time interested in me! I dunno though - I am with Fawn, I like porn!!! I only can be comforatable with it because I see that he loves me too and still has sex with me... he would never sit and watch it to the point where it substitutes me... I guess I would look at how the man is in general... As long as he takes care of you and you know he loves you and isn't cheating with other women, he's just taking care of that extra sex drive and nuts if my man's sex drive was that strong I would rather he resort to porn than make me do all the work *lol* It is weird too, dust - that you say he's looking for young girls... that's just wrong... I hope they are at least legal and not like children... girls these days at that age look like they are in their 20's with all the makeup!!! I am sorry that he is such a jerk to you about it and your situation warrants concern... I hope that things get better for you and your kids!!! *hugs*
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Post by confused on Jun 23, 2005 22:36:19 GMT -5
Hi ladies, I'm a man for now , but I have never watched porn nor do I have the urge to watch it, so I guess , I would have to say I agree with you, that it is not neccessary. The mind is the greatest sex organ we have as long as you know how to use it and I don't mean fantasizing about doing it with someone you shouldn't be. My ex and I after being divorsed for 26 years are still best of friends and we never did any of that kind of stuff. I guess , I just have to say , "if you don't want your children watching it , then you shouldn't either. LOVE SHOULD BE THE GREAT BONDING BETWEEN TWO INDIVIDUALS WHOM ARE MARRIED!" Sorry for going on like this , but I do not like PORN. Have a nice day to all and Happy Growing.  :-*jre |
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LadyR
Junior Member
Posts: 80
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Post by LadyR on Jun 24, 2005 10:21:09 GMT -5
Well, maybe I'm just odd or something, but I watch it with my guy all the time, and he watches a lot more without me. The thing is, it doesn't bother me. He'll just start talking about a film that he watched earlier and what he thought about it and we'll have a nice little conversation. Sometimes we'll try something that he saw and that sounds like fun to us. I don't really feel jealous that he's sitting there looking at women that may be better looking than me because, lets face it. They're all over the place. I couldn't possibly put blinders on him. But he's with me and (Ithink) enjoying it. This guy has a big appetite. I know this. The last thing I would ever want to do is to give him orders or ultimatums. I don't own him, he doesn't own me. We choose to be together and accept who we are. I certainly would never want to come across as so insecure that I don't want him looking at this stuff. After a while they begin to see your insecurity as a real liability. What's so bad about watching this stuff anyway?
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Post by PepeLePewtheDivine on Jun 24, 2005 14:56:43 GMT -5
hey LadyR,
I think you and your hubby have a wicked outlook on your relationship. It's true- he's picked you and he's comin home to you so why get wierd and make him supress his sex drive? I think the porn issue is an issue of how it makes men view sex, because consciouse or subconscious, it does skew ones vision to some degree. Im pretty liberal about nudity and sexuality, and if there were any kind of equality and balance between the men and the women in porn I'd be all for it. But sadly there's not, and instead it paints a picture of men who should use sex to prove there machismo and women who should lie down and shutup. It pisses me off.
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Post by lilsx1 on Jul 22, 2005 8:20:27 GMT -5
You have to remember that the girls in porn have the say so in what happens in every scene. Girls call the shots and as weird and degrading as it may look to you, those girls have chosen to participate... Just like one person may like guy on girl, another girl may want to be "beaten" or "degraded". It may seem odd to you but is actually quite a popular scene, as is swinging (sharing partners). What works for one person - just like in BE - may not work for another but that doesn't make either one of them wrong. Spouses need to respect each other (husband - wife, wife - husband). Too many people think that marriage is about control and it's not. You are still you and he is still him and you have to share your lives, compromising on what makes you uncomforatable... For instance - say your man was in to bondage and it freaked you out... well, have you ever used handcuffs, or a blindfold - That was bondage!!! It was a very small form of bondage but it was still one form... so anyway I guess that to each their own and I do understand the jealousy - I used to be the same way and I still am in certain situations so I am not saying it is wrong but love is also trust and for those claiming to be christian (as I have noticed in the dowsing threads) love is NOT jealous! There is a scripture on that somewhere too... love is good, kind, does not brag, etc etc...
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Post by idontmeasureup on Jul 22, 2005 17:05:41 GMT -5
Maybe that 's another reason I want the boobs, I know my husband takes a peek at naked women on the internet & if he's gonna look at them & most of them have fake boobs, I want what they have. Not that I feel competetion with a women on a computer screen, he married me not them. I just want to feel confident. I want to get one of those Carmen Electra striptease workout videos & learn the routine & surprise my husband with a strip show & a lap dance. But its hard to act sexy when you don't feel sexy. I don't like the thought of my husband looking at that stuff, but when I was a kid, I remember that my dad would read Playboy magazine & probably not for the articles! My husband said men are "programmed" to look at that stuff.
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Post by Tweety on Jul 23, 2005 12:54:09 GMT -5
Treehugger and dustashesdog, I feel your frustration. I grew to hate porn not only when I noticed it in two of my past boyfriend's houses, but when they denied it, and gradually I could see the effect it was making in their lives. Some may say "to each his own" and others "everything in moderation is okay". Porn may be justified by helping to increase your sex drive, but there are many other ways to have a healthy, regular sex life with your husband without watching two (or more  ) people have sex. It's like alcohol, for some they have a little just to have fun. But if that "fun" is hurting their spouse they should stop. If they can't stop, then they have a problem. Like alcohol, porn has many more cons than pros. The internet is a blessing and a curse. At one time people had to slink into XXX shops (and now, gas stations) and select and pay for one of these magazines. Now they can access all they want in the privacy of their own homes. Some may be able to look at softcore porn all their lives and never turn into rapists or serial killers. But some (like Ted Bundy) get their start looking at porn and developing an unhealthy view of women as objects. Why do so many prostitutes get killed? They are sex objects, and they mean nothing to the sickos that are picking them up. So where does this come from? Are they born that way? And yes ladies, it does make you wonder when your boyfriend or husband tries to tell you how attractive you are only to ogle surgically enhanced bimbos with tongue rings and fake eyelashes. My friend is married to a man who is addicted to porn, stuff so shameful he yells at her when she asks about it because it's so bad. I've seen the effects. And some may justify, "I'm a guy, I have to look." I know guys who, although they admit it's tempting to look, they chose to look away. Some have been into it and have broken away, others have simply stayed away. So I ask the question: Would the world be a better place if there were no porn? Yes or no? |
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Post by Tweety on Jul 23, 2005 13:03:09 GMT -5
Confused, you don't sound confused at all. Sounds like you have more brains than a lot of guys I've met. Congrats to being strong while you were overseas, especially when "everyone else is doing it" and beautiful women are throwing themselves at men in uniform. I know a marine who shares your views and has told me of all the stuff that goes on and how he is the outsider. Women can be pigs as much as men, and sometimes worse because magazines like Cosmo encourage us to go after what we want, especially a sexual conquest. Do any of the groupies that wait outside concerts and hockey games consider a man may have a pregnant wife at home or small children? Does she care? Would she like someone doing that to her??
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yuna0z
Full Member
"You seek the promise land!"
Posts: 241
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Post by yuna0z on Jul 23, 2005 18:52:50 GMT -5
I was on this website taking quizes, there was this quiz "called are you ready to break up?" I took the quiz and I was fine. My boyfriend takes the quiz and he was fine too. But there was a question that said " How often do you think about girls"? He answered occasionally. My question was How often do you think about boys and I answered rarely. I was pretty upset when he said he thought about other girls ocassionally. When you are in a relationship I think you shouldn't think about other girls OCASSIONALLY  when you are in a relationship. What do you guys think? Thanks! |
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Post by confused on Jul 23, 2005 19:59:52 GMT -5
I AGREE!!!! WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP, THERE SHOULD BE NO ONE ELSE!!!!! especially if you walk in on it as I did once.
thanks for listening,
jre
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