Post by rare1 on Apr 11, 2010 6:27:51 GMT -5
Hi everyone...
I have only just joined and posted my routine etc... but noticed this thread and hoped others might be able to help me with a problem that is really bothering me (non BE related).
I was helping a friend make a wedding cake for her other friend's wedding recently... went to her house for several hours, two days in a row... the last being the day of the wedding... major stress... major rush.
Whilst there, and after mixing a huge load of Fondant for the cake, I asked my friend if I could do anything else to help her get ready (the wedding was at 3pm and it was now 1pm....)... I offered to iron any clothes and the only clothes she needed ironing where her sons...
I set up the iron in her laundry ... with a towel on top of the washing machine as she had no ironing board. Unplugged one of the plugs that were in her power point... and proceeded to iron... then unplugged the iron when I finished...
However.... I forgot... neglected.. did not think .... to plug in the other plug...
The plug I unplugged was to her chest freezer.....
I knew the chest freezer was in the laundry... as I'd packed it with all her Chrisco meats in November when they arrived as she was at work.... but.. on this particular day... it did not occur to me that the plug I unplugged was the freezer... nor even that the freezer was there... perhaps because of all the panic to try to help her get the cake finished and delivered to the venue in time.
As it turned out.. the cake was completed... i picked her up.. we dropped cake off... i drove her home (she has lost her license in early January and I've been driving her around for most things ever since... and happy to do so ...).... she proceeded to get ready for the wedding (with something like 20 minutes before it started).
I drove her sister, sister's boyfriend and two kids to the wedding venue then raced back and picked my friend up... dropping her to the wedding and then coming home to meditate.. as I was knackered... tired... exhausted... pooped....
About an hour and a half later... my friend rang saying she had no tampons... I raced my pack in a discreet purse tin up to her then got some dinner and came back home... ate.. and crashed out again... totally exhausted.
All that aside... my friend did not discover the chest freezer unplugged until the Monday afternoon when she opened it again for the first time since it had been turned off (it was Saturday afternoon at about 1pm when I turned it off accidentally). She did not tell me about it until the Thursday when she offered me some meat, saying it all had to be eaten or thrown out.
I burst into tears when she told me. I know ... as a single mum (like I am) she can't afford to lose a freezer full of meat that was to last her the year. I also know she doesn't have household contents insurance to cover the loss. I offered to replace it for her... and even though she declined... my intention was to do so.
I then left to visit my sister for the Easter break.... traveling 5 hours to get there... my friend's sister tried to call me whilst I was traveling but my daughter told her I was driving.... I've since found out she had called to abuse me.
Upon driving 5 hours to get back for a makeup party my friend was having (although my sister's kids desperately wanted me to stay the weekend...) my friend snubbed me. Didn't want to talk to me and was quite rude.
I sent her a text asking what was wrong. Nothing.
I rang her house and got her son...asked if my friend was there.. he rudely said "NUP" and when I asked where she was, you could hear him cover the handset and pause.. before saying "I don't know".
I waited about 10 minutes and phoned her mobile from my privately listed home number... she answered.. she was at home.
She confirmed she had been there when her son answered the phone and that she was rope-able about the loss of her meat. Telling me she felt sick because she had "eaten s&^%" all week and been feeding porterhouse steaks to her dogs who were also becoming sick.
I said it was wrong that they were sick from the meat as the load she gave me was fine... even after transporting it 5 hours away on some ice packs... because.. the meat was CRYOVACKED....
My research has shown that cryovac packed meat can last up to 6 weeks in the fridge.
Other friends have told me it's absolute nonsense that the freezer would have totally defrosted when it was supposedly still stacked full almost to the brim and not opened in that time.
My friend is claiming she has lost thousands of dollars worth of meat and I can't help feeling guilty... although am now having mixed feelings for the following reasons:
1. regardless of the loss.. it was a genuine accident that happened when I was busting my guts helping her....
2. do friends REALLY treat friends like this when things go wrong? especially since I already offered to replace the meat?
3. I've been told there is no way the meat would have been ruined and ESPECIALLY because the majority of it was cryvac sealed... so any wastage is really now her responsibility.
4. another friend said that she should take some responsibility for any loss and feeding her dog porterhouse steak was just plain stupid on her behalf.
5. US Dept of Agriculture states meats that are still under 4 degrees in temperature can be re-frozen..
I'm struggling terribly with all this. On one level I feel I've been unjustly treated as a friend... she has forgotten the many many things I've done for her (and yes she has done things for me... but largely I've felt on more than one occasion that she has not been there for me when I needed her... and that the friendship was a little one sided).
Given there were some very large roasts and a huge ham in the bottom of the freezer... and all the small packs of meat (besides sausages) were cryvac packed... I feel the meat could have been salvaged.. even if she had to leave the freezer off and put ice bags in a bucket into the freezer to keep the meat cold... i would have gladly covered the cost of that...
Also... another friend said it was ridiculous to buy meat for a year and store it in the freezer as it doesn't keep beyond 6 months anyway... given it arrived in November... it's already 4 months in... but time frames for freezing differ depending on what website you look at...
Please Please Please.... help me ... i don't know what to do?
Do I attempt to cancel my medical specialist appointments and sell everything I can to pay her the thousands or even hundreds for her meat?
Do I accept this treatment from someone who is supposed to be my best friend?
Do give her some money and end the friendship or do I just tell her she could have salvaged the lot and not to blame others for her own part in any losses she sustains (this last suggestion came from my sister... who is a stronger person that I and believes my friend is being very nasty... as she has been on more than one occasion and trying to take advantage of me and my good nature.. but I find it hard to look at the situation this way because when push comes to shove.. I did turn the freezer off...).
Any help .. feedback... comments would be appreciated (but please bare in mind I'm very fragile atm and quite a sensitive person .. so if you are going to be blunt.. please be tactfully blunt...... thanks)
Appreciate any comments regardless of their nature... I'm really confused on how to deal with all of this.
I have only just joined and posted my routine etc... but noticed this thread and hoped others might be able to help me with a problem that is really bothering me (non BE related).
I was helping a friend make a wedding cake for her other friend's wedding recently... went to her house for several hours, two days in a row... the last being the day of the wedding... major stress... major rush.
Whilst there, and after mixing a huge load of Fondant for the cake, I asked my friend if I could do anything else to help her get ready (the wedding was at 3pm and it was now 1pm....)... I offered to iron any clothes and the only clothes she needed ironing where her sons...
I set up the iron in her laundry ... with a towel on top of the washing machine as she had no ironing board. Unplugged one of the plugs that were in her power point... and proceeded to iron... then unplugged the iron when I finished...
However.... I forgot... neglected.. did not think .... to plug in the other plug...
The plug I unplugged was to her chest freezer.....
I knew the chest freezer was in the laundry... as I'd packed it with all her Chrisco meats in November when they arrived as she was at work.... but.. on this particular day... it did not occur to me that the plug I unplugged was the freezer... nor even that the freezer was there... perhaps because of all the panic to try to help her get the cake finished and delivered to the venue in time.
As it turned out.. the cake was completed... i picked her up.. we dropped cake off... i drove her home (she has lost her license in early January and I've been driving her around for most things ever since... and happy to do so ...).... she proceeded to get ready for the wedding (with something like 20 minutes before it started).
I drove her sister, sister's boyfriend and two kids to the wedding venue then raced back and picked my friend up... dropping her to the wedding and then coming home to meditate.. as I was knackered... tired... exhausted... pooped....
About an hour and a half later... my friend rang saying she had no tampons... I raced my pack in a discreet purse tin up to her then got some dinner and came back home... ate.. and crashed out again... totally exhausted.
All that aside... my friend did not discover the chest freezer unplugged until the Monday afternoon when she opened it again for the first time since it had been turned off (it was Saturday afternoon at about 1pm when I turned it off accidentally). She did not tell me about it until the Thursday when she offered me some meat, saying it all had to be eaten or thrown out.
I burst into tears when she told me. I know ... as a single mum (like I am) she can't afford to lose a freezer full of meat that was to last her the year. I also know she doesn't have household contents insurance to cover the loss. I offered to replace it for her... and even though she declined... my intention was to do so.
I then left to visit my sister for the Easter break.... traveling 5 hours to get there... my friend's sister tried to call me whilst I was traveling but my daughter told her I was driving.... I've since found out she had called to abuse me.
Upon driving 5 hours to get back for a makeup party my friend was having (although my sister's kids desperately wanted me to stay the weekend...) my friend snubbed me. Didn't want to talk to me and was quite rude.
I sent her a text asking what was wrong. Nothing.
I rang her house and got her son...asked if my friend was there.. he rudely said "NUP" and when I asked where she was, you could hear him cover the handset and pause.. before saying "I don't know".
I waited about 10 minutes and phoned her mobile from my privately listed home number... she answered.. she was at home.
She confirmed she had been there when her son answered the phone and that she was rope-able about the loss of her meat. Telling me she felt sick because she had "eaten s&^%" all week and been feeding porterhouse steaks to her dogs who were also becoming sick.
I said it was wrong that they were sick from the meat as the load she gave me was fine... even after transporting it 5 hours away on some ice packs... because.. the meat was CRYOVACKED....
My research has shown that cryovac packed meat can last up to 6 weeks in the fridge.
Other friends have told me it's absolute nonsense that the freezer would have totally defrosted when it was supposedly still stacked full almost to the brim and not opened in that time.
My friend is claiming she has lost thousands of dollars worth of meat and I can't help feeling guilty... although am now having mixed feelings for the following reasons:
1. regardless of the loss.. it was a genuine accident that happened when I was busting my guts helping her....
2. do friends REALLY treat friends like this when things go wrong? especially since I already offered to replace the meat?
3. I've been told there is no way the meat would have been ruined and ESPECIALLY because the majority of it was cryvac sealed... so any wastage is really now her responsibility.
4. another friend said that she should take some responsibility for any loss and feeding her dog porterhouse steak was just plain stupid on her behalf.
5. US Dept of Agriculture states meats that are still under 4 degrees in temperature can be re-frozen..
I'm struggling terribly with all this. On one level I feel I've been unjustly treated as a friend... she has forgotten the many many things I've done for her (and yes she has done things for me... but largely I've felt on more than one occasion that she has not been there for me when I needed her... and that the friendship was a little one sided).
Given there were some very large roasts and a huge ham in the bottom of the freezer... and all the small packs of meat (besides sausages) were cryvac packed... I feel the meat could have been salvaged.. even if she had to leave the freezer off and put ice bags in a bucket into the freezer to keep the meat cold... i would have gladly covered the cost of that...
Also... another friend said it was ridiculous to buy meat for a year and store it in the freezer as it doesn't keep beyond 6 months anyway... given it arrived in November... it's already 4 months in... but time frames for freezing differ depending on what website you look at...
Please Please Please.... help me ... i don't know what to do?
Do I attempt to cancel my medical specialist appointments and sell everything I can to pay her the thousands or even hundreds for her meat?
Do I accept this treatment from someone who is supposed to be my best friend?
Do give her some money and end the friendship or do I just tell her she could have salvaged the lot and not to blame others for her own part in any losses she sustains (this last suggestion came from my sister... who is a stronger person that I and believes my friend is being very nasty... as she has been on more than one occasion and trying to take advantage of me and my good nature.. but I find it hard to look at the situation this way because when push comes to shove.. I did turn the freezer off...).
Any help .. feedback... comments would be appreciated (but please bare in mind I'm very fragile atm and quite a sensitive person .. so if you are going to be blunt.. please be tactfully blunt...... thanks)
Appreciate any comments regardless of their nature... I'm really confused on how to deal with all of this.
. If she values spoiled meat more than you, she was a worthless friend to begin with.