Not being able to talk about you pain

[pinksheep]

Hi,

I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this.
When you grow up in an environment where everyone developts breasts and you don't, you have nobody to talk aobut it.
I talked about it to a friend when i was younger and she made fun of me, she was big herself. I think she did it to feel better about herself, she was overweight while i was slim. Needless to say that friendship ended.
I talked to my doctor and he put me on birthcontroll, it had a lot of negative side-effects, now i have a new doctor, a woman and i tried to talk to her but she didn't take it seriously.
She just said that everyone is different.
Being small chested or flat seems to be a rare problem and something you don't talk about.
I talked about the subject on a Dutch forum and i got two sweet replies and a PM form a man requesting for a picture because he said he liked small boobs, YUK! I am soo thankful for finding this forum, for the first time in my life i can be honest about my pain and how i really feel without getting weird requests or comments.
Do others feel like this as well? it is so weird to finally be able to be myself and don't have to hide how i feel. Where you able to talk about not developing breasts?

[specialk]

I cried about it to my mother when I was in middle school because everyone made fun of me. I stopped even talking about it in 8th grade but the pain was still there as strong as ever.

I think not a lot of people talk about stuff like this because everyone is "supposed to be happy with their body, accept who they are and be proud of it." This is one of society's mantras but unfortunately for most it's not something that is easily achieved.

There are a lot of superficial things about myself that pain me, and I usually do not bring them up because I do not want to draw attention to them, and I don't want people to think that I'm weak and really care that much.

A few months ago my 11-year old niece was teasing me about being flat (she has mosquito bites, but will probably surpass me in a few years). Later, my 36-year-old sister in law (who is a BITCH), was teasing me about being flat. The only route I could think of was to joke about it, and how "I'll buy them if I have to!" Overall I felt very uncomfortable and resent the fact that she would put me in a position where I had to be the sad clown.

I think this forum is great, the internet offers the anonymity you can't really find anywhere else, paired with the ability to express yourself in great detail. I think this place is good for us.

I just wish people would stop being so d**ned mean to each other, maybe people wouldn't be so hesitant to share their pain in fear of being made to feel a fool.

[bellylaugher]

Hi Pinksheep

I know exactly what you mean. When I was in high school and everyone was developing and starting to wear bras I just wanted to go out and get a bra too. Except when I asked my mum if I could get a bra (and I took like a whole week to pluck up the courage to ask her), she told me I didn't need one. My mum is small too, and I remember being embarressed that she wore padded bras and would make sure there weren't any lying around when friends came over.

I had really bad self-image as a teenager. Because I never developed boobs, I hated my body. I thought I was really ugly and really admired my friends and thought they were all so beautiful. My self-esteem was really low simply because I didn't have breasts. The thing is, I look back, and I was smart (I did really well at school), I had a really friendly and out-going personality and I actually have a pretty face (which I can see now, but I didn't see back then). Yet, none of these I could see because all I could focus on was that I didn't have boobs and because of that I was ugly and no boy would ever want to go out with me and I'd probably never get married blah blah blah.

I remember when I was 16 going shopping for a ball dress with my mum and being too shy to try any one because for most of them you needed cleavage to look good. I ended up going home and bursting into tears on my bed. I even blamed my mum (secretly - not to her face) for having small breasts, which gave me small breasts. And yes - I had noone to talk to. Not even my mum, because (which I realise now that I'm older) she also experienced the angst of having small breasts and didn't want to talk about it.

Funny thing though, when I finished high school, I moved to the city (I grew up in the country) to go to Uni and all of a sudden, a lot of stuff changed. I actually wore a padded bra by this time, but was still obviously small chested, but I made loads of new friends (thanks to my out-going personality) and grew lots of confidence having to live on my own. I met this really great guy and we started going out. Of course the whole time I was going out with him, I was still really self-conscious of my breasts, and whenever he roamed near them, I would stop him, because I still had doubts that he may not like me because I had small breasts. Stupid me - because eventually when he did see me naked, he still loved me.

So I guess now, my whole view on myself is a lot different. I have a much more positive attitude about my body and now can see other good things about myself. I guess one good thing that has come from all of this is that I never judge a person based on what they look like. I try to get to know them first, because I enjoy spending time with a person based on their personality/intelligence/craziness, not based on their looks.

Obviously, having small boobs still weighs on my mind, but it's not like it was before. I don't hate myself anymore and I don't think I'm ugly. Of course, having found this board has given me some hope that I can fill a bra! But I don't think I'll become obsessed with it.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in how you felt/feel.

Sorry about the essay!

[gigi]

It's an interesting question that you pose, about having someone to talk to about small breasts. Entering adolescence is pretty rough for most young people especially since attention is generally rivetted on the appearance of secondary sex characteristics. I remember being totally excited about "growing up", wearing a bra and having curves. They didn't materialize as I had imagined; consequently I considered myself unattractive. All of the things mentioned above were said to me at one point or another as a teenager and young adult. It's hurtful. Telling someone about my disappointment at not having large breasts only invited more scrutiny which was to be avoided at any cost. So, ladies, I totally relate to what's been said. Don't be sorry about the essay, any one of us could have written it.

[wiccanwoman]

I have never really talked about my boobs alot, I focused on my other nice features and on being thin but deep down was always unhappy with my breast size.

Oddly enough now I talk about it all the time and know just what your saying..no one seems to really care.

Even my Sister who I called today was visiting a friend of hers at the time who is a A up. This women asked my Sister to put me on speaker phone and explain what I am doing. Well She ended up laughing at me and my sister said it was boring.

My friends humor me by listening but they really think I'm either full of it and don't believe me or think its dangerous and tell me I'm nuts to do it. The lack of support when it very clearly working for me is rather dishearting. One actually lectured me about doing something he doesn't understand and thinks it may be dangerous in His opinion and told me I should be happy with myself the way I am that there are more important things than bigger boobs.

People can be cruel sometimes and not even realize thier doing it.

Hugs to all my bobbie growing Sisters, stay strong and good growing to you all !