I feel like sh*t.

[alrani]

I don't know where else to write this. I don't really have anyone to talk about this with.

I feel so terrible. I've felt like bursting into tears for so long.
I feel so stupid for feeling like this but I can't help it.

I went out with this guy for nearly 2 years, and I really, really love him a lot. We broke up about 3 months ago just because he's travelling next year & I'm going to uni and we felt it would be good to cool things off before he leaves so it wouldn't be as hard when he actually goes.
I wish we'd never broken up because things have gotten so messy.

About a week after we broke up I started seeing someone almost "by accident", we just hung out one day and things got a little more serious all of a sudden. I felt really bad about it because I still love my ex, and I told my ex about it and of course he was really upset.

Then he decided to meet up with an ex girlfriend of his, who he dated on-off for about a year. I knew that he once thought he loved her, even if he claims now that he never did.

Anyways, they met up to see a movie and they ended up making out.

Even though I was seeing this other guy, it absolutely crushed me.
I know it's super hypocritical, but I can't help it.
For the record, me and the other guy ended our little thing pretty quickly, and my ex never ended up seeing his ex again (she's dating someone else now), but I can't help but feel so angry and jealous and so much hatred towards her.

I absolutely hate this girl and i've never met her before.
I feel like crying whenever I think about him and her, and I know he thinks she's hot & nice etc. She's pretty much perfect.
I keep putting myself down and thinking she's so much better than me, and I've been feeling so depressed lately about this whole thing.

He knows I feel like this, and he feels really bad about it all, but I don't know what to do to make myself feel better. I keep dwelling on it, over and over in my head, and then i feel sick and angry and jealous, and end up hating her even more, which then makes me think i'm a bad person for hating someone i've never met. I keep thinking that he still loved her and wanted her even when we were going out, even though I know that's not true.

All I want is for him to cut her out of his life completely, I want that so desperately, but we're not dating anymore and so I can't exactly tell him to do that.

I don't know what to do. Someone help me please.

[em357304]

Awww...I'm really sorry for how you are feeling, but I think that most people have been in your exact position, so your not alone. I think that it is completely normal to feel this way, especially when you have just broken up not too long ago. I've been in your situation and I know that this isn't the answer that your looking for but your probably just going to have to wait it out. I know that you don't think that you'll ever feel better, but time heals a lot of things. I'm a firm believer that if it was meant to be then it will happen. I've had my share of heartbreak, believe me, but it's all made me appreciate what I have now. It may just be me but I feel like everytime that you fall in love that it just gets better and better. Your still young, and so am I for that matter so we don't have that wisdom that comes with age, but I believe this to be true. I've been in love a few times already and each time I thought it was the forever kind of love, but it turns out that there was something way better out there for me. I don't even know if I am helping with your situation, it just touches a warm spot with me. If you love someone and they love you, things will find a way to work themselves out. But until then do things that YOU love to do, hang out with friends, spend time with your family, sometimes we tend to neglect things when we're in a serious relationship. Just take this time to spend on yourself, you probably deserve it. I hope everyting works out for you, and keep your head up!

[bonnette]

hugs to u and please don't think she's better than u, don't do it to yourself. breaking up is a hard thing to do i know, specially if u have the circumstnces that u still love the person very much. i believe we always will otherwise we would have not chosen them. love does not disappear but transform to smth else and smth new. but i also agree with the previous comment that things can only get better and there's smth great waiting for u in the future.

and by the way, what kind of ex she was hitting the hays while she had a boyfirend of her own. sure there's an issue there and your boyfriend realises that. You certainly had better morals if that counts.

warm hugs and please believe better days are ahead

[alrani]

thanks so much for the kind words guys things are getting better now. I don't feel so bad today