Attention seekers

[Megan]

Has anyone else ever encountered people who brag by complaining? My older sister and some other women I've met do this in regard to their breast size. Even though I've always been the "flat" one of the family (barely a 32 AA until I was 20) my sister constantly tells me it's so awful being as flat as her (34 C). I can't imagine her not noticing that she is well endowed, at least by comparison, especially as I've pointed it out to her a few times in an attempt to get her to stop. But then she just says something to the effect of "that's different" and goes back to how I couldn't possibly understand. She constantly mentions celebrities with bigger busts and how she would love to look like that and finally feel like a woman. When I was in highschool I constantly came across girls who were C's and D's and compained that they couldn't fill anything out. Is it that they are actually very unobservant and really need to be reassured, because that just seems far fetched to me.

I was raised to believe that breast size counts. When I was 13 and still flat my mother desperately tried to assure me that I would grow, and when I said I was happy looking the way I did she told me not to talk like that. By the time I was 16 my mother was on a breast implant rampage...constantly talking about the benefits and how I shouldn't live my life uncomfortable in my body just because nature didn't bless me. When I was 18 she actually tried to make it a present , despite the fact that we are not very well off and she couldn't afford it. When university came up, she declared she couldn't afford to help me out...but still had that breast implant fund open in case I changed my mind. The funny thing about this to me is that she is not well endowed either. I hate how women buy into the message that looking a certain way is wrong. It is one thing for a woman to say that she wishes to change something about her looks...but since when do other women have the right to tell her to change it?

[dustashesdog]

d**n! That seems really f@#$%^ up of your mother to "implant" you with sutch a heavy complex! As if the world diddnt do a good enuph job of that on its own. Sheesh.

[mansi]

Hi Megan,
well it does hurt sometimes that when people really well endowed pass such comments, just to get more attention or just to make other people feel bad.

but i would not count your mother among them. as u said that she herself is not well endowed, perhaps she has lived all her life wanting bigger breasts, had some complex regarding breasts and had faced soem problems because of that. she is a mom and so she does not want her daughter to go through the things that she felt and i guess that is the reason she is offering u implants even though they are out of her means. I think u should respect her for this and you certainely should sit down and discuss seriously what u feel about breast size and implants and how u would liike to use the money for more productive purposes like education. Give her a chance to understand your view point and try to understand why she wants u to have bigger breasts at any cost.... That will solve out a lot of problems.

Hope that helps
Mansi

[Megan]

Mansi,

I did not mean to imply that my mother was an attention seeker, that was actually a seperate rant. In many other ways she is a very good mother. However, I have tried to discuss with her many times when I was younger that I was happy if they did not develop (I was a tomboy and they would have gotten in the way) and she simply wouldn't take no for an answer. The reason she would not put the money towards university is because she feels it would be more useful to put it towards implants. While she is very supportive usually and we no longer discuss this because it has led to too many arguments to count, her only ambition for me seems to be for me to marry rich. Men will notice breasts faster than a university education. While she is not "well endowed" she isn't my size either, and feels no need to get implants for herself. I do understand however where she is coming from and we thankfully have finally managed an "agree to disagree" arrangement. Though she still offers them once in a while...

[Wenonae]

Megan said:

Mansi,

I did not mean to imply that my mother was an attention seeker, that was actually a seperate rant. In many other ways she is a very good mother. However, I have tried to discuss with her many times when I was younger that I was happy if they did not develop (I was a tomboy and they would have gotten in the way) and she simply wouldn't take no for an answer. The reason she would not put the money towards university is because she feels it would be more useful to put it towards implants. While she is very supportive usually and we no longer discuss this because it has led to too many arguments to count, her only ambition for me seems to be for me to marry rich. Men will notice breasts faster than a university education. While she is not "well endowed" she isn't my size either, and feels no need to get implants for herself. I do understand however where she is coming from and we thankfully have finally managed an "agree to disagree" arrangement. Though she still offers them once in a while...

You're mom is kinda old-school..where you marry in order to get money. Mine has a similar mindset, however, in today's age, thankfully....it's not taboo to get an education and actually DO something with it.

However, now that you've found this board...u can show your Mom that you can have ur cake and eat it too

[mansi]

Sorry Megan,
Misunderstood about your Mom.

Hope everything works well and u get boobies fast.

Good luck
Mansi

[fawnmarie]

Well, I loved being flat until I got older and into my late 30's! I liked being 'tiny'.

I can see where you are coming from, definitely!

Fawn

[Ruderico]

Edit: I've adjusted my earlier post, because it looked like I was trying to say that Holland is a much 'better' place to be, or something. I didn't intend to do that at all! Sorry y'all! Just to let you know: it's probably not 'better' at all, it's more likely to be the same in a way. So therefor the adjustment. I hope I didn't offened anyone!

Ruth

Mmm, this is something we call "American state of affairs", referring to things that seem extreme - but are on their way to the rest of the world. //
I just can't believe that America is so focussed on big breasts and breast implants... the whole society sees big breasts as a standard and implants are socially completely accepted...!
Untill recently (I get the idea we are moving in the same direction as America...), the great majority in Holland frowned deeply at the idea of it, especially the older ones. But it gets a lot of media attention lately... (extreme make-over etc.).
'Luckily' Dutch guys still hate implants, so having fake boobs is this big 'no, no', because only the natural thing counts; the idea that it's only a piece of plastic kills all the 'magic'. (that is, of big breasts...you can see that as a plus, but also as a downer: they have to be natural and big).

But I start to hear more and more stories about plastic surgery....Today I heard about a new magazine on the news... it's some sort of 'glossy paper' which is filled with girls who had plastic surgery and the costs of these treatments...
This kinda news I really don't want to hear. Sounds like the world is changing into a piece of plastic....
I hope it won't be a success... Fortunately, breast implants are not that popular yet out here.

The fact that I want bigger boobs (but still only NATURAL BOOBS) is because I'm still suffering from my obsession for ultimate beauty; but it's not a national feeling, at least, not yet... .. (

But don't let them "brainwash" you with the idea that big breasts are a key to success, and that not being big means you "failed" to be a "real woman"!! My sister has a 34A or 32B and looks great, and guys tend to share that opinion. ;D

[mansi]

I agree with Ruderico. Natural is best, no matter what they are. But i also feel that it should not be soooooooooo............. hard to grow breasts naturally. really wish it was far easier.

Mansi

[Tweety]

ARGH!

Yes, I used to work with a girl like that, only she would complain about stuff like she can never find any clothes that fit her, and the size zero in the store is too baggy on her...it was sooo ridiculous

Sometimes it helps to call them on what they are doing in a light hearted way. "Oh, you just love being small/having big breasts, etc. Quit your complaining!"

Men have their own way of doing that. Only they complain they can't find clothes to fit them because they are too big, or can't find shoes cause their feet are too big. A guy in my massage course is also a power lifter and pretends that his size is some sort of a handicap even though you know he totally loves being strong. He just beams when we try to palpate his bones and can't find them due to the muscle. My friend is great, she called him a big show-off!

To each their own...probably no full proof way to stop it.

[thames]

not true, at all

[akira]

Oh man this sounds like my entire years of high school. I used to be in colorguard(preforms with flags)and every single girl in that group was well endowed(everyone was at least a C cup minimum)and I hated how we'd have to wear leotards and I looked so flat in them. You know what they'd complain about? "Oh i'm sooooo fat!" and would look at me and just get mad because I was skinny(not by choice, good majority of high school I barely ate because my father wouldn't buy groceries for us kids).

The one's complaining about how "fat" they were, were skinny and tall and had boobage. I absolutely hated being the flat super skinny girl in that group. If that didn't make me feel worse, the guy friends I had constantly kept saying how hot they were which seriously didn't help my self image.

[Peachy]

My roommate does the same thing. . . while she's one of my best friends, this thing just drives me NUTS. She's tiny - 100 lbs. . . and has a C cup. . . and says she's "lost a lot from the top" and that "it would be great to have SOME kind of chest". . . ugh. . . and here I am, battling the bulge and trying to add a cup size to my bustline (I'd be happy with a B cup, I swear!). What hurt was the other day when she asked me if I was bigger or if she was. . . obviously she has to know. . . I mean, we LIVE together.

And I totally sympathize about the high school thing. . . I started puberty waaaaay too early and had started growing before anyone else. . . but then I stopped and just never developed breasts beyond that stage. . . and then was confronted by headlight breasts on all of my girl friends!!! Ack!

Anyway. . . here's to growing.

Peachy

[buffy]

I don't disagree that that type of behavior is grating. However, I'm always surprised to find how poor a self-image some beautiful women have. Your roommate for example, Peachy, might very well think that your boobs are every bit as big as hers if not possibly bigger. I think that as women we tend to focus on what we perceive as being wrong or inadequate with ourselves and then go look at others and see them as superior specimens. She probably spends a good deal of time bemoaning her boobies and has never really taken a look at yours.

Of course, I could be wrong and she might just be one of those bitches...

[Peachy]

Buffy,

Thanks for your reasoned response . I suppose that could definitely be an explanation, since I know she beats up on herself for so many other things, too. And no, she isn't a bitch. . . she's a very nice person. So I guess I shouldn't take this one to heart too much, eh? Maybe just concentrate on growing my own .

Have a good day -

Peachy