Post by fionuir on Dec 26, 2006 22:20:58 GMT -5
I know it's not really cool to complain about one's husband, but I have a total bug up my butt and I need to let off some steam.
Right now, we are the only couple in our group of DH's long-time friends with a child. He is 19 months old, and everyone else still doesn't "get it" how our life has changed--or well, how *my* life has changed. Example: about an hour ago, the phone rings and it's a friend who now lives in another state. He's in town just for tonight and called to see if we wanted to go out for drinks and sushi. He has several other friends in tow. I couldn't think of anything to say for several seconds--HELLO! It's eight pm and we have a kid, should I just bust out the ol' magic lamp and rub up a babysitter so I can go out at your beck and call? Oh no wait--I know what I'm supposed to do--I'm supposed to volunteer to stay home with the baby, folding laundry and whatever else it is women are supposed to do, so that my husband can go out and have a good time with all of our childless friends. What an existence. And of course, that's exactly what happened. DH says he'll be back in an hour--HA! It'll be at least eleven before he stumbles in, reeking of cuba libres and cigar smoke.
I realize this makes me sound like an uptight control freak, but something that has to be understood is that this particular guy who called tonight ALWAYS pulls this last-minute crap--sometimes he'll be in town for five or more days but won't call or return calls until the night before he leaves, and then everyone's expected to drop everything to see him--and what blows me away is that they do it! Why? Because they can. And no one understands why I get my undies in a bunch when they call; no one understands that in this house, dropping everything to go out and have a good time means dropping me.
I know, I know, I'm whining, but I feel like a nobody. I spend so much time alone, I hate it! I've talked to DH about this every time it's happened--and it happens pretty frequently, even when this particular guy is not involved--and in so many different ways, I don't know what to do anymore! The cherry on top of this freaking issue sundae is that I don't have any of my own friends in town to "drop everything" for. All my friends are his friends, or are old college friends who live in Massachusetts and Oxford, England. Not really helpful for turning the tables, really.
Ugh, I sound like such a Debbie Downer. I really am a fun person, I just also happen to have a ton of responsibilities. I'm a full-time Mom and grad student, and I work part-time. I really would have loved to have gone out for sushi and drinks tonight, but the kiddo had to go to bed. I would have loved for my husband to have said, "Hey, no can do, thanks, maybe next time." Ha. DH's loyalty to his friends outweighs everything, and it's really starting to get to me.
Right now, we are the only couple in our group of DH's long-time friends with a child. He is 19 months old, and everyone else still doesn't "get it" how our life has changed--or well, how *my* life has changed. Example: about an hour ago, the phone rings and it's a friend who now lives in another state. He's in town just for tonight and called to see if we wanted to go out for drinks and sushi. He has several other friends in tow. I couldn't think of anything to say for several seconds--HELLO! It's eight pm and we have a kid, should I just bust out the ol' magic lamp and rub up a babysitter so I can go out at your beck and call? Oh no wait--I know what I'm supposed to do--I'm supposed to volunteer to stay home with the baby, folding laundry and whatever else it is women are supposed to do, so that my husband can go out and have a good time with all of our childless friends. What an existence. And of course, that's exactly what happened. DH says he'll be back in an hour--HA! It'll be at least eleven before he stumbles in, reeking of cuba libres and cigar smoke.
I realize this makes me sound like an uptight control freak, but something that has to be understood is that this particular guy who called tonight ALWAYS pulls this last-minute crap--sometimes he'll be in town for five or more days but won't call or return calls until the night before he leaves, and then everyone's expected to drop everything to see him--and what blows me away is that they do it! Why? Because they can. And no one understands why I get my undies in a bunch when they call; no one understands that in this house, dropping everything to go out and have a good time means dropping me.
I know, I know, I'm whining, but I feel like a nobody. I spend so much time alone, I hate it! I've talked to DH about this every time it's happened--and it happens pretty frequently, even when this particular guy is not involved--and in so many different ways, I don't know what to do anymore! The cherry on top of this freaking issue sundae is that I don't have any of my own friends in town to "drop everything" for. All my friends are his friends, or are old college friends who live in Massachusetts and Oxford, England. Not really helpful for turning the tables, really.
Ugh, I sound like such a Debbie Downer. I really am a fun person, I just also happen to have a ton of responsibilities. I'm a full-time Mom and grad student, and I work part-time. I really would have loved to have gone out for sushi and drinks tonight, but the kiddo had to go to bed. I would have loved for my husband to have said, "Hey, no can do, thanks, maybe next time." Ha. DH's loyalty to his friends outweighs everything, and it's really starting to get to me.
