Post by englishchick on Nov 24, 2006 12:19:24 GMT -5
Nothing really major happened, but I still feel terrible about what I did. A couple of nights ago I went out clubbing with my friends. We all had an awesome night but I ended up getting extremely drunk. On the way back to the University on the bus, one of my friends and I got chatting to a couple of guys. We ended up all walking back together and going to another one of my friend's flats to chill out and listen to music etc.
I quickly popped back to my flat to get changed into some dry clothes, as we had walked home in the rain. My friend came over and told me jokingly that she was jealous of me as she thought one of the guys from the bus was really gorgeous, but he was hanging around waiting for me and was trying to ring me on my mobile. I found it flattering, and I did find the guy attractive but I didn't plan on doing anything about it. I was missing my boyfriend.
We all went back to my friend's flat eventually. There were about 12 of us in total, but gradually people started to leave to go to bed. Eventually there were only 4 of us left, me, my friend and the two guys from the bus. My boyfriend rang me and we had an argument, some of which the other guy heard. I made the guy that liked me fully aware that I had a boyfriend, but he still ended up kissing me ... and I kissed him back. Nothing else happened apart from some groping. It was literally just pure physical attraction. I was incredibly drunk, and felt lonely and I suppose physically and emotionally neglected - but I know this isn't an excuse for what I did. I stopped it from going any further and ran out of the room, my friend followed and tried to reassure me as I couldn't stop crying. She told me 'your instincts got the better of you, and it was just a kiss'. I went back into the room and tried to tell the guy that I had to leave, but he kept telling me that I was young and shouldn't have to commit myself, that he liked me so much and kept kissing me. I left.
I feel awful. I love my boyfriend, I think in a strange way this episode has made me realise just how much, and how important he is to me. I don't want to lose him. Telling him would absolutely crush him ... I don't want to be the reason for hurting him that badly. We've been together for 8 months, this is the first time anything like this has happened. I have never even looked at another guy like that since I have been with him ... until now. It has made me confused about our relationship - why did I do it? He is at another University 6 hours away from me, and we haven't seen eachother for almost a month, but I am seeing him next weekend. He would never find out unless someone told him, and as far as I know there are 5 people who know what happened - me, my friend who was there and another friend who I told afterwards, the guy I kissed and his friend from the bus. My friend thinks I should forget it happened, and not tell my boyfriend. She said telling him would probably cause more problems than it would solve. I'm inclined to agree with her, but I'm still confused.
Advice would be greatly appreciated.
I quickly popped back to my flat to get changed into some dry clothes, as we had walked home in the rain. My friend came over and told me jokingly that she was jealous of me as she thought one of the guys from the bus was really gorgeous, but he was hanging around waiting for me and was trying to ring me on my mobile. I found it flattering, and I did find the guy attractive but I didn't plan on doing anything about it. I was missing my boyfriend.
We all went back to my friend's flat eventually. There were about 12 of us in total, but gradually people started to leave to go to bed. Eventually there were only 4 of us left, me, my friend and the two guys from the bus. My boyfriend rang me and we had an argument, some of which the other guy heard. I made the guy that liked me fully aware that I had a boyfriend, but he still ended up kissing me ... and I kissed him back. Nothing else happened apart from some groping. It was literally just pure physical attraction. I was incredibly drunk, and felt lonely and I suppose physically and emotionally neglected - but I know this isn't an excuse for what I did. I stopped it from going any further and ran out of the room, my friend followed and tried to reassure me as I couldn't stop crying. She told me 'your instincts got the better of you, and it was just a kiss'. I went back into the room and tried to tell the guy that I had to leave, but he kept telling me that I was young and shouldn't have to commit myself, that he liked me so much and kept kissing me. I left.
I feel awful. I love my boyfriend, I think in a strange way this episode has made me realise just how much, and how important he is to me. I don't want to lose him. Telling him would absolutely crush him ... I don't want to be the reason for hurting him that badly. We've been together for 8 months, this is the first time anything like this has happened. I have never even looked at another guy like that since I have been with him ... until now. It has made me confused about our relationship - why did I do it? He is at another University 6 hours away from me, and we haven't seen eachother for almost a month, but I am seeing him next weekend. He would never find out unless someone told him, and as far as I know there are 5 people who know what happened - me, my friend who was there and another friend who I told afterwards, the guy I kissed and his friend from the bus. My friend thinks I should forget it happened, and not tell my boyfriend. She said telling him would probably cause more problems than it would solve. I'm inclined to agree with her, but I'm still confused.
Advice would be greatly appreciated.
