EFT

[codrina]

i was reading on another thread about EFT and i downloded the manual and then i went on the other site with eft with choice...i read that some of you used these methods and i really want to use them too...not for BE, but for other problems...and i don't konw how...
my biggest problem is that every time i speak in public("public"being 2-3 people) my face turns red...really red, even dark red...and i'm so embarresed...and sometime people even tell me "ÿou are so red..what's wrong?"and of course this makes things worse...and i turn red not only in this situation, i turn red when i talk to a friend and s/he tells something ...not something embarrasing, sometimes i turn red for no reason....and when i feel that i'm turning red, i feel embarrased the red becomes even stronger...sometimes, i'm alone and i think of one of the many situations when i turned red, and i turn red again...i lost so many opportunities to say interesting things only because i knew that when people's attention will turn to me i'll get a red face...
i think that eft could help me...first i read eft and i know how to use it...then i read the one with choice...and i don't understand how to use it...i would like to use that because it's positive and would have more confidence in it...but i don't know how to use it...could someone, please, explain me how to use it, what to say and how...please!

[satu]

Hi Codrina,

I used to have the same problem when i was a kid. Talking to people was very embarrassing as i always turned to red and then i'd get teased over it. First of all it's extremely stupid from the other people.

First reason for it is that some people especially with a light skin color (mine being as light as you can find) get red when they get nervous and all the blood shoots to the face. When i started performing and did much more public things, I got less nervous and got used to doing it and didn't get red anymore. You can always say that you get red because you get so excited about the topic.

The thing is you would need to get more into situations where you'd get nervous and make yourself get used to them. You probably are a bit shy like i was and sometimes still am. The first times i performed for example playing the piano, I made so many mistakes, even when i knew the song inside out, because of being nervous and i was very red. In some music schools they put people to perform and make a mess of their performance and make a lot of mistakes on purpose to make them embarrassed so that when they perform in the future, they don't care if they make mistakes because it's not a big deal anymore.

A good way of practising speaking is doing it in front of a mirror and talk to the mirror imagining there are people there. You probably see and feel you're getting red, but just ignore it and continue. And another little addition, make sure you're not wearing too much warm clothing (but don't get yourself cold) as this will enhance the redness.

I don't know much about EFT so i'll leave that bit for someone else to answer, but i wanted to share my experience and advise with you. Hope you get something out of it.

Satu

[codrina]

Satu, thanks for your support.
i read what you wrote...you're right, my skin is light colored too...it's so good during the summer, when i'm tanned and my face is brown and people can't see when i'm turning red...

you said you had the same problem as a kid...well, i'm not a kid anymore...i'm almost 26 and it's horrible to turn red at this age...and i'm not shy, or maybe a bit...it's strange that as a kid i didn't have this problem...i was always the best pupil in the class, one of the best of the school, great marks, good results at all sorts of contests...and i used to be on stage too, saying poems...i don't know when things changed...or maybe i used to turn red back then but i didn't realize it??but i think that if that had happened, the other kids, cruel as they are, would have said something...i think i started having this problem in highschool, i guess, i don't know for sure...

the strangest thing is that i was teacher for a year and here we have classes of 30 pupils, so a lot of kids aged between 7-15...and i had to teach them, to stand in front of them on a podium(sort of a small stage)
and teach them...and my face didn't get red...maybe 3-4 times during a whole year...but during the same year, being with other people, even close friends i blushed all the time...

so you see, i put myself into stressful situations but i didn't get any result

and the thing about clothes..i'm doing it too...and i thought i was silly to do that...it feels good to find out that is not that silly

thanks again