Men Are Stupid

[fawnmarie]

Seriously.

Anyway - I can't seem to get my dumb husband to understand that women are JUST DIFFERENT. He thinks we think like guys. He behaves towards women like they think like guys. (I suppose that explains why I am his 4th marriage (well, 2nd marriage too).

ANYWAY - we had this huge debate over how men and women think differently when it comes to sex, and fantasies, and what we consider erotic, and what we look for in partner.

(He maintains that we only SAY we find certain things attractive, but behave differently.)

Anyway - I told him I would run an informal survey of the women I knew to PROVE to him that he's a freakin' idiot, that we DON'T think like men, that we DON'T have the same priorities, interests, stimuli etc.

Anybody want to answer a completely pointless, but totally confidential, but totally HONEST survey on the subject.

Numbers but no names can be posted here for the morbidly curious - other than that - it's only purpose is to rub the old man's nose into it.

I don't want names, etc. Just age, length of current relationship, and HONEST answers to a couple of really ugly and embarrassing questions.

I just want totally HONEST answers to a couple of questions. He thinks I'm weird - I just think I'm female.

Can you guys accommodate me?

Fawn

[mominator]

ME! I WILL! Count me in!

[Wenonae]

Sure!

[mansi]

I will try to do my best. will help me understand how well I know (wo)man.


Mansi

[fawnmarie]

Not sure how to make this completely anonymous - you would have to feel comfortable sending me the answers.

These are personal questions, mind you. Like whether you ever fake orgasms, and why, etc. Whether you pretend the old man is the cable guy, etc.

The issue is that I know MEN think about all their female acquaintences, and I don't think most women do. At least not as often, or under the same circumstances. So - these are VERY personal questions, and you would need to mail them to me for me to collect the numbers.

I can't use the "poll" feature on the discussion forum - the questions are too long.

Fawn

[teatowel]

hell yeah...i'm showing results to my hubby...you wouldn't believe what doesn't go on in our bedroom and his excuse why. tea

[fawnmarie]

Hokay - here's the survey, and yes - it contains BLUNT language.

Please copy and paste into an email and add your answers. Forward to my email addy, [e-mail]

If you want to add anything, comments, complaints - please do.

PLEASE DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS ON THIS THREAD!!!

1. Your age:

2. Are you in a monogomous relationship?

3. How long?

4. Are your married?

5. How long?

6. Whether you are "looking" or not - what first attracts you to a man to make you think he would be a possible sex partner (whether or not you ever plan to) (i.e. - what makes you think, "hm... I'd like a slice of that." This should be the FIRST thing you notice that attracts you, whether you are looking or not, or whether or not he seems like a dud ten minutes later.

(Feel free to number these from 1-10, with 1 being most attractive or important.)

Good Looking:
Funny:
Intelligent:
Solicitious and Polite:
Grooming:
Size (big & strong/lanky and tall, etc:)
Seems to have a lot of money:
Great body:
Seems to have the same interests/priorities that you do:


7. Do you ever fantasize about having sex with someone you know other than your partner?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, not often:
No, never:

7A. If so, when do you do it? (check all that apply)

Casually (i.e. - just daydreaming):
During sex with partner:
During masturbation:


8. Do you ever fantasize about having sex with someone you DON'T know (stranger, celebrity) other than your partner?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, not often:
No, never:

8A. If so, when do you do it? (check all that apply)

Casually (i.e. - just daydreaming):
During sex with partner:
During masturbation:

9. Do you ever fantasize that your partner is someone else during sex?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often:
No, never:

10. DO you ever fantasize that you are someone else during sex with partner?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, not often:
No, never:

11. Do you ever fantasize that you are in a different location during sex with partner?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often:
No, never:

11A. If so, are you? (1-10 in order of frequency, leave blank for never)

Somewhere you were both together before?
Somewhere you were with someone else?
Somewhere you've never been?
Somewhere exotic or extreme?
Somewhere dangerous?

12. What is your preferred method of approach for sex from your partner?

Aggressive:
Submissive:
Romantic:
Playful:
Practical:
Sensual:
Pity:
Other:

13. Do you EVER fake orgasm. Please answer honestly - he will never know!

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often:
No, never:

13A. What's your faking profile.

Fake it once, get it over with:
Have orgasms, but fake extras to pad partners ego.
Came close enough for rock and roll and are satisfied.


13A. If you DO fake, is it because: (1-10 in order of frequency, leave blank if n/a)

1) You just can't and won't and are getting tired of trying.
2) You already have and are finished, so you fake more to pad partner's ego
3) You never have or rarely do, and you don't care
4) You like what he's doing, and want him to do it more often in the future
5) To make your partner feel better
6) To make your partner leave you alone.
7) Thought your were going to anyway,

or add your own answer:


14. Do you enjoy sex whether or not you orgasm?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often:
No, never:



15A. Can you orgasm during intercourse?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often:
No, never:


15B. Can you orgasm during oral sex?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often:
No, never:


15C. Can you orgasm during manual stimulation by partner or self?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often:
No, never:


15D. Do you actual care which method it is, if you do indeed orgasm? I.E. Are you disappointed if you didn't orgasm via intercourse, (but were able to anyway)?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, not often:
No, never:

16. Do you play role playing games with partner?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, not often:
No, partner isn't into that.
No, never:

16A. Are they?

Fun, cool - you enjoy:
Weird, but you're keeping the peace:
Creepy, but put up with it:
Embarassing as hell:
NOT AN OPTION!:

17. Are you jealous of your partner's casual interest in other women (i.e. porn, harmless gawking, etc.)

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, not often:
Partner doesn't do that:
No, never:


18. If your partner gawks at another woman, does it make you feel:
(You can 1-10 this one)

Superior - typical male!
Like you need to compete:
Miserably jealous:
Couldn't care less:
Some of all:

19. If another male gawks at you, do you feel:

Uncomfortable:
Turned on:
Threatened:
Think he's nuts:
Some of all:


19A. If another male gawks at you, is your partner:

Jealous:
Turned on:
Threatened:
Think he's nuts:
He never notices:


20. Do YOU understand why guys think lesbians are hot?

Yes, I get it:
No, not at all:
I didn't know they did:


21. Do you feel comfortable tell your partner what your sexual fantasies are?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, not often:
No, never:

21A. If "not often" or "never" - Why? (1-10 if necessary)

They're too weird.
I'll be laughed at.
He'll think they're gross.
They'll threaten his masculinity.
He'll use them against me.
He'll want to tell me his - and his are WEIRD!





Anyway - that's the whole thing. Answer what you feel comfortable with. Email them. I'll add the ticks and delete the email. I won't save them and I won't even read the names. And knowing me, I'll probably forget who wrote what, so don't worry about confidentiality.

Fawn

[fawnmarie]

NEED MORE INPUT!!!!

Remember - if any of the questions embarrass you, it's okay to pretend they don't exist!

But I need a few more participants for a meaningful result.

Thanks in advance!

Fawn

[mansi]

Hi Fawn,
how is this survey coming along??
Any results yet?/
Mansi

[fawnmarie]

Mansi,

I was hoping for a few more responses, but since they have pretty much stopped coming in, I think I will take what I have this week and start collating.

I have noticed a few interesting trends, though.



Fawn

[fawnmarie]

Okay Ladies, here it is.

Out of a total of 15 responses (including my own), these are the results of the survey.


1. Your age:

Average Age was 32.27


2. Are you in a monogomous relationship?
3. How long?
4. Are your married?
5. How long?


14 of 15 were in a monogomous relationship - ranging from 10 months to 27 years.


6. Whether you are "looking" or not - what first attracts you to a man to make you think he would be a possible sex partner (whether or not you ever plan to)


Well, apparently we are all looking for humorless morons with Porshes!

These are to total tallies for the following attributes that were judged with an importance of 7-10 (high)...

Good Looking: 4
Funny: 4
Intelligent: 5
Solicitious and Polite: 5
Grooming: 5
Size (big & strong/lanky and tall, etc 6
Seems to have a lot of money: 7
Great body: 5
Seems to have the same
interests/priorities that you do: 5

Of those attributes, this is the tally of how often they received the "top mark" (person noted it as most important to them)... (Some people marked lower than '7' as their most important attribute)

Good Looking: 2
Funny: 3
Intelligent: 2
Solicitious and Polite: 1
Grooming: 3
Size (big & strong/lanky and tall, etc 2
Seems to have a lot of money: 7
Great body: 3
Seems to have the same
interests/priorities that you do: 4

Just as an interesting side note - those who had the longest lasting relationships marked "funny" as being 8 or higher in importance.

So it only goes to show you that marriage takes a sense of humor!

The following is the total tallies where the attribute had received a LOW importance mark (1-3):

Good Looking: 9
Funny: 5
Intelligent: 8
Solicitious and Polite: 6
Grooming: 5
Size (big & strong/lanky and tall, etc 6
Seems to have a lot of money: 3
Great body: 4
Seems to have the same
interests/priorities that you do: 4



7. Do you ever fantasize about having sex with someone you know other than your partner?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes: 5
Yes, not often: 2
No, never: 8

7A. If so, when do you do it? (check all that apply)

Casually (i.e. - just daydreaming): 6
During sex with partner:
During masturbation: 1


8. Do you ever fantasize about having sex with someone you DON'T know?

Yes, often: 2
Yes, sometimes: 2
Yes, not often: 4
No, never: 7

8A. If so, when do you do it? (check all that apply)

Casually (i.e. - just daydreaming): 6
During sex with partner:
During masturbation: 3

Which only goes to show you that we all need better looking friends!

9. Do you ever fantasize that your partner is someone else during sex?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes:
Yes, but not often: 3
No, never: 12

10. DO you ever fantasize that you are someone else during sex with partner?

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes: 2
Yes, not often: 2
No, never: 11

11. Do you ever fantasize that you are in a different location during sex with partner?

Yes, often: 2
Yes, sometimes: 2
Yes, but not often:
No, never: 11

11A. If so, are you? (1-10 in order of frequency, leave blank for never)

Somewhere you were both together before? 2
Somewhere you were with someone else? 1
Somewhere you've never been? 4
Somewhere exotic or extreme? 5
Somewhere dangerous? 2

12. What is your preferred method of approach for sex from your partner?

Aggressive: 11
Submissive: 1
Romantic: 13
Playful: 7
Practical: 1
Sensual: 9
Pity:
Other:

13. Do you EVER fake orgasm.

Yes, often:
Yes, sometimes: 3
Yes, but not often: 4
No, never: 8

13A. What's your faking profile.

Fake it once, get it over with: 3
Have orgasms, but fake extras to pad partners ego. 1
Came close enough for rock and roll and are satisfied. 4


13A. If you DO fake, is it because: (1-10 in order of frequency, leave blank if n/a)

1) You just can't and won't and are getting tired of trying. 3
2) You already have and are finished, so you fake more to pad partner's ego 2
3) You never have or rarely do, and you don't care
4) You like what he's doing, and want him to do it more often in the future 4
5) To make your partner feel better 5
6) To make your partner leave you alone. 3
7) Thought your were going to anyway, 2

or add your own answer:


14. Do you enjoy sex whether or not you orgasm?

Yes, often: 10
Yes, sometimes: 3
Yes, but not often: 2
No, never:


15A. Can you orgasm during intercourse?

Yes, often: 5
Yes, sometimes: 5
Yes, but not often: 3
No, never: 2


15B. Can you orgasm during oral sex?

Yes, often: 4
Yes, sometimes: 5
Yes, but not often: 2
No, never: 2


15C. Can you orgasm during manual stimulation

Yes, often: 11
Yes, sometimes: 2
Yes, but not often:
No, never: 1


15D. Do you actual care which method it is, if you do indeed orgasm? I.E. Are you disappointed if you didn't orgasm via intercourse, (but were able to anyway)?

Yes, often: 4
Yes, sometimes: 3
Yes, not often: 2
No, never: 6

16. Do you play role playing games with partner?

Yes, often: 0
Yes, sometimes: 2
Yes, not often: 5
No, partner isn't into that. 3
No, never: 6

16A. Are they?

Fun, cool - you enjoy: 6
Weird, but you're keeping the peace: 1
Creepy, but put up with it:
Embarassing as hell: 4
NOT AN OPTION!:

I don't think this question was understood. For those of you who answered "no" for 16 above, I was looking for the reason why. A lot of people marked "no" but didn't answer 16A (as to "why" they don't). So, not much data on this, sorry.


17. Are you jealous of your partner's casual interest in other women (i.e. porn, harmless gawking, etc.)

Yes, often: 3
Yes, sometimes: 2
Yes, not often: 5
Partner doesn't do that: 2
No, never: 3


18. If your partner gawks at another woman, does it make you feel:
(You can 1-10 this one)

Superior - typical male! 5
Like you need to compete: 5
Miserably jealous: 3
Couldn't care less: 4
Some of all: 3

19. If another male gawks at you, do you feel:

Uncomfortable: 2
Turned on: 7
Threatened: 0
Think he's nuts: 3
Some of all: 5


19A. If another male gawks at you, is your partner:

Jealous: 6
Turned on:
Threatened: 2
Think he's nuts:
He never notices: 7


20. Do YOU understand why guys think lesbians are hot?

Yes, I get it: 9
No, not at all: 4
I didn't know they did: 2


21. Do you feel comfortable tell your partner what your sexual fantasies are?

Yes, often: 3
Yes, sometimes: 4
Yes, not often: 3
No, never: 5

21A. If "not often" or "never" - Why? (1-10 if necessary)

They're too weird. 3
I'll be laughed at. 3
He'll think they're gross. 1
They'll threaten his masculinity. 2
He'll use them against me. 0
He'll want to tell me his - and his are WEIRD! 3

Plus another option I didn't think of...

"None of His d**ned Business" - which got 3 votes.



Well, with only 15 responses, that was it.

I did find some interesting trends, as I hinted at.

Women really do consider financial success as a condition for interest.

Those who value a sense of humor have the longest relationships.

Women do NOT really think about their male acquaintances in any kind of sexual fashion whatsoever.

We generally do not fantasize about other people (known or unknown) during the actual act of sex with our partners.

Pretty much the rest of it is even divided throughout the spectrum.

If anyone has any comments - I'd love to hear them.

Fawn

[mansi]

Hmmm, That's pretty interesting.

Mansi

[SomeGirl]

O.K, Fawn asked for comments. I was surprised money is valued over intellect. Does it really matter whether a man is a teacher or broker? They are both respected jobs and it's modern times where women have their own careers. I recently was with a man who I felt intellectually mismatched and our daily conversations were frustrating. He couldn't relate, didn't understand, didn't know, had to explain things rather than free flowing conversation just happening. To have a long term relationship with a man he has to have great conversation and teach me things, I guess I am different. When a man challenges me intellectually with new knowlege I get excited and want him. I'm the minority and this surprised me. Good looks, money, won't carry interest for years down the road in my book, they don't satisfy what's inside the heart and mind.

[Wenonae]

SomeGirl said:

O.K, Fawn asked for comments. I was surprised money is valued over intellect. Does it really matter whether a man is a teacher or broker? They are both respected jobs and it's modern times where women have their own careers. I recently was with a man who I felt intellectually mismatched and our daily conversations were frustrating. He couldn't relate, didn't understand, didn't know, had to explain things rather than free flowing conversation just happening. To have a long term relationship with a man he has to have great conversation and teach me things, I guess I am different. When a man challenges me intellectually with new knowlege I get excited and want him. I'm the minority and this surprised me. Good looks, money, won't carry interest for years down the road in my book, they don't satisfy what's inside the heart and mind.

SG- I'm with u, except love doesn't put food on the table. So not only does convo, attractiveness, viverancy, drive, have to be there, but being able to support at least himself with ease, if not the lady, too. That's key down the line to help decide how if any kids will be raised...if the s/o can stay home or not.

I don't think your comment makes u in the minority, but Fawn's survey just show's bottom line, what needs to be there. Bum's have great convo, but are obviously less than desirable for mates

[fawnmarie]

Well, the WAY the question was worded, the appearance of having money was one of the FIRST things women found them attracting them to someone as a potential mate.

However, I was also sort of surprised to see how high this rated on the scale. It was hardly ever listed as a low priority and often listed as a high priority.

Even "Grooming" was lower than money!

What I also found sort of odd was that very, very few women rated "funny" and "intelligent" very high at all. But like I said, those that rated "funny" high had the longest lasting relationships.

Fawn