Oh, breasts

[flatandgreen]

So. My breasts.

When I was little, I always thought I'd get them. I imagined having them -- like pierced ears or shaved legs, they were a coming of age rite that happened to everyone at some point.

Because I was so certain they'd sprout magically the way they were supposed to, I didn't pay much attention to them. There was one point when I was getting ready for school when I was 13 or so and had to jump in the shower as my little sister (11 yrs. at that point) had to jump out so we wouldn't be late. She started brushing her teeth and hair -- the usual -- and casually commented that my breasts were really weirdly shaped.

And THAT is when I noticed my breasts. I hoped they'd end up more normal looking as they grew. I had no idea that they were going to stay that size and shape [possibly] forever. I thought of them as "poky shaped" and droopy.

I remember getting a computer and internet that worked at our house. My parents weren't computer-savvy enough to be able to check which websites I was visiting and I trolled obsessively through breast augmentation sites until I found a picture and a name for my breasts. Apparently, my breasts have what's called 'Tubular or Tuberous Breast Malformation.' WTF. Malformation. Right there. I'm weird, is what it means. Mine are only slighty tuberous and not too like the pictures I found online, but they're still not round.

I eventually decided that putting stuff in my body that couldn't decay away when I died seemed gross, so surgery was out. So now I'm here, hoping that if I have more breast tissue, it will fill out the longer milk ducts I have.

What I really want are not large breasts so much as a tad bit more NORMAL breasts. I've seen my friends with large, droopy breasts without shirts and they look nice. My friends with small breasts embody that old saying thatt if your breasts are small, they have nowhere to droop. I just look...odd. Why did I get small breasts that droop?!

Now that I'm done griping, I'll remind myself that I've had people make me feel extremely sexy before and it will happen again and my breasts are just a small part of me. Whew. I know that. Sometimes I just have to...unload my anger at not having appropriately pre-20 yr. old breasts. Ah, well.

[akira]

oh man yeah I used to think as a kid i'd have nice big breasts just like some character I loved as a kid(I loved the little mermaid movie and wanted to be like Ariel as a kid)but sadly that didn't happen. Hell I didn't want to wear bras when all the other girls were starting to wear them because I wasn't even growing let alone had anything to put in them. I begrudgingly wore them when I started middle school because i'd have to change in front of other girls for PE class and I didn't want my breasts(or lack of them)exposed.

I hated how throughout high school for colorguard we'd have to wear leotards which made me look 12 years old and barely starting puberty. I hated how all the other girls were filling out and getting nutsloads more of attention from everyone, whereas I only got attention because of the hobbies I was into. I hated having to hear guys gush and go after the well endowed girls who wanted nothing to do with them yet couldn't see someone who was interested in them right in front of them. She just didn't have much fat on her chest. I hated how if any busty girl was around and said anything all eyes were on her and talking to her even if she was dumb as hell.

I always kept hoping that one day i'd wake up and they'd be there and I could just finally feel complete. That the feeling of akwardness would dissapear and I could actually go into a lingerie shop without being told "sorry miss we don't have your size here you may want to check the pre-teen section at your nearest dept store i'm sure they'll be able to find you something that will fit"or getting false hopes when I do see something that may fit me and then try it on and find out that the cups are huge.

Now i'm trying to work on getting bigger breasts(not huge but possibly a hi B low C cup cause anything bigger wouldn't look proportionate on me)but it seems like it takes forever and it takes quite a bit of money as well as patience and time. Part of me hates waiting for breasts because i've been doing that for almost all my life and have been dissapointed. Now i'm trying things to aid the growth(if its even happening, I never feel any sort of growing pains whatsoever not even a tingle)and i'm hoping for it to work.

Is it so much to ask for to feel and look attractive as well as fill in some nice tops and possibly be able to wear a strapless anything without some super duper padded bra to hold it up? Obviously it must be since so many of us are here with this problem.

I hate being so pessimistic about it but you always want what you don't have right?

[toosmall]

I know how you all feel. I'll go to the store and see the cutest corset or bra and it will never be anything smaller than a 34B.
When I was growing up I used to wish for boobs on my birthday..so much for birthday wishes, right?
I used to get picked on for not having boobs so I would be insecure and come home and cry. I would pray for boobs, I did anything that I thought would help but nothing ever happened.

[pixiedust]

Im 16 and i always thought i would have got some breasts by now *sigh* i only have puffy nipple and i hate it! It get me down so i know how you all feel, i've had the odd comment abut them being small but nothing too serious but i know alot of people think it by the way they look at me. Even the women in my family noone is smaller than a b/c its soo unfair and i look so out of proportion.

By the way flat and green a droop is nothing to be ashamed of i've read alot of comments from men on other sites saying they love breasts like that. Keep reminding yourself that you can be sexy and you can look good, i know its hard

[toosmall]

yeah well whats really depressing is that I am almost 19 and my 14 year old sister has bigger boobs than me. My other sister who is 16 has C Cups. I got screwed.

[flatandgreen]

I feel like a jerk for writing this, but it's so COMFORTING to know other people feel the way I do. You know, I don't judge potential partners' bodies as harshly as I do mine. I wonder why I can't give myself a break more often.

Thanks for sharing with me, ladies. I really appreciate being able to discuss this with others.

[pixiedust]

Its what we are here for

[toosmall]

I know what you mean. I've seen other women with less boobage than me and i think they are sexy but then i look at myself and i'm like "What the hell happened". Don't get me wrong. I don't think I am ugly or anything but I cant stand not having breasts.

[charlysays]

aaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhh....my sister has F cups....F!!!!!!!!!!!!! she stole my boobies!! they were meant for me! i feel your pain, i have A cups, well that's being generous. its hard not to feel inadequate when u grow up with those boobs next to you! she got them when she was about 10, so i was convinced mine would follow-im 20 now and still seething oh well im sure she'd share if she could xx

[yuna0z]

charly what do you mean she stole your breasts? I know what you mean because my sister has always had bigger breast than me and I thought I would follow her. Unfortunately I didn't, O well I hope this BE works.

[yuna0z]

It's good to know that other people feel how you feel and you are not alone. I always stare at other women wishing I had their breasts. I don;t wanna wear certain shirts that I want to wear becuase it wouldn't look right the way I am portioned. I am a 34B naturally and I wish I was a C/D cup. It's so depressing.

[charlysays]

yuna i would love to have B cups-but i know that doesnt help at all-when ppl try to make u feel grateful for what u've got u just want to scream!!

i think i used to have this idea that cuz my sister's older than me she sorta took all the boobie genes before me-incredibly silly but it just seemed sooo unfair-but then im 5ft 7 and shes only 5ft 1 so i guess u cant have it all!

[flatandgreen]

I'm now wavering between a small B and a full A cup. Of course, I'm also in luteal phase. Gah! I hope I keep it once my period hits.

Today I feel so kindly toward my breasts. I think they look rather normal right now. I wish my emotions about my breasts were calmer and not so strong either way. It's maddening to be so concerned about my breasts,

[charlysays]

mmm i agree, i'm the same-sumtimes i get out of the bath and i think theyre ok or growing or something, or other times i hate hate hate them!! it's like an obsession!! at least i found u guys,which makes me feel much much less of a freak-and i have finally convinced my boyfiend i'm not the only one with this unhealthy interest in boobs!!

[dustashesdog]

I know. I don'y care that mine are small, but I wish they were shaped more "normal". Well I just came by today because I was falling into my regular pattern of hating myself. But I see that NO ONE has grown, and probably won't. See ya in another 6 mos, suckers. :-)
P.S. Toosmall:
Do you like mudhoney?